Becoming a Mother
- Jun 10
- 4 min read
I decided it was time for a post on Motherhood. I wasn't writing during Mother's day and this week I had the pleasure of being a guest on The Unmedicated Minded Momma's Podcast. I was able to share my unique birth story and how God was faithful through it all. She titles the episode The Birth Experience that Grounded Erika for Motherhood. At first I was thought "Woah listeners might have some high expectations when the read that." But as I re-listened to Toni and I's conversation I was struck by just how faithful God was in all the moments of becoming a mother. Not just the birth, but everything before and everything that has come after. Isn't it funny how God can use other people to call out and name experiences in a new way for you to see it in a new way. I had never thought of my birth experience being what grounded me for Motherhood, but it absolutely was. I hear it in my own voice as I share my story and reflect over key moments. I am not going to reshare the story here, if you would like to hear about my birth experience please listen to the podcast, Toni does such an excellent job stewarding and facilitating conversations. However, today I want to share just little snippets of what God has been teaching me in this beginning of my motherhood journey.
In conversation with my Aunt last weekend I mentioned how I don't have clear memory of my daughter being born, but darkness is what I remember most. It felt very dark. However, when the chaos had subsided I was snuggling my daughter for the first time, the memories hold glimmers of light. Warm, golden, pixie dust type of light. As I was recalling these memories, I was struck by how similar this is to the story of creation. I just recently read through Genesis 1 because on Raising Arrows Bible Corner we were talking about the creation story and as I was contemplating this dark and light narrative with my birth story this verse was brought to mind. "And God saw that the light was good. And God separated the light from the darkness.." ~ Genesis 1:4
God was present in both the dark and light moments of my birth story. He allowed me to be a co-creator with Him to bring my daughter into the world and how special is that? What if I changed my perspective of the darkness? I would like to put the disclaimer that giving birth and The Crucifixion are NOT the same thing, BUT darkness is associated with that story and out of it is the most precious love story ever to be told. The pain had a purpose, I was willing to endure the pain because of the love I had for my daughter...is that not just a small glimpse of how our Heavenly Father sees us. How Jesus loves us, what He was willing to endure for us? There were moments during postpartum and giving birth that I wasn't sure how I was going to make it. It felt like I would be stuck in that spot forever. Yet, God brought me through it. He healed, He restored, He is using it for His glory. My daughter is now in this world and He has great plans for her. I can't wait to see what they are.
The circumstances around my daughter's birth came with a lot of uncertainty as all births have. Most of you know that we were moving quite literally in the middle of it all. There was decisions of do we induce or do we wait. A LOT of asking "Where is the Lord leading us?" Even after during the move, there were moments of do we stay in this town for the night or do we drive farther? It makes me grateful I am not an Old Testament Israelite who had to wander the desert for forty years. However, it did remind me that our plans our not ours. Proverbs 16.9 says "A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord determines His steps." I think what God has been teaching me over the past seven months is to let go of MY expectations and instead anticipate, be eager to see what He is going to do with my day. What does He have instore for me? Where would He have me go? Because truth be told there has not been one day that has gone EXACTLY the way I pictured it going. If I continually put my security in that I would be a wreck. (Ask me how I know)
Daily in Motherhood my eyes are opened to how raising kids reflects the character of God. My daughter is learning to crawl and pull up on things which results in me putting pillows everywhere to catch these fearless falls. How often is God throwing a pillow across the room to catch me when I try to do things on my own? How much farther does my daughter get in learning to stand and walk when she comes over to have me be a part of the process? How much farther DO I get in my journey of being transformed into the image of God when I come, sit at the feet of the Father and invite Him to help me. He is so quick to answer friend, just like you are with your children.
I hope this post was encouraging to you whether you are a mother or not. May it be a reminder to you and to me that God is always with us, always pursuing our hearts and using all things for His glory.
See you next week friends.
Truly letting go of our expectations and ACTUALLY anticipating God to lead and do something great is, I think, the final act of surrender. It's hard work at first, but once we stop "advising" Him of what He should do and instead patiently wait to hear what WE should do, things are SO MUCH BETTER!