Coming Back Gently

Hello dear friends! Long time no chat! I have missed our Wednesday hangouts. While this one is later in the day that Coffee Chats normally are, I wanted to get one posted today anyway. After a couple months off to focus on our big life changes (moving and having a baby) I am ready to come back...but gently. What does that mean though? Well, for Kingdom Arrows that means not jumping into all the things right away. For example, this Coffee Chat is getting written so the monthly newsletter and the Esther Study Guide are put on hold. They are still projects that will get done, but if my daughter needs me to be mom and that time is reallocated then that is ok too.

I don't know if you are like me, but when January comes around I begin to feel this pressure. It is like January has become the junk drawer of months. Everything we don't have time or desire to do the rest of the year gets placed in the "I will start that in January category." So when January finally arrives you are pulling out an array of lists and goals you promised yourself you would start. When our humanness gets the better of us and we can't perform these goals perfectly the first week, many of us are likely to shove the lists back into the already full drawer to deal with NEXT January.

What if I offered you another way friends? What if instead of coming back loud and clangy we started slow. This year as I was journaling out my "goals or resolutions", I've taken to calling them my New Years Ambitions, I was daunted by the list. However, as I dug into the list more I realize that many of my ambitions are ones I started years ago and just want to build upon.

Like quiet time, five years ago I wasn't spending any time in God's word except at church and small group. When I decided to make it a priority I struggled doing anything for more than 5-10 minutes and even during that my mind wandered. It rarely was daily and often had huge gaps between when I was "doing devotions." However, I knew that this was important and I wanted to cultivate a life that placed God first. I desired a husband and family one day and knew that I could only steward that well if God was first and foremost in my life. So I kept with it and in all honesty it took about two years to form any sort of consistent habit. In the beginning though I had to be gentle with myself. My perfectionist mentality told me that I needed to get it done exactly right with the perfect devotional, instagram morning worthy, deep prayer and memorizing scripture moments. When in reality that isn't what God asks of us.

Throughout His word we see verses that say come and follow me. Not come and follow me when you have it perfect, not come and follow me when your schedule allows, not come and follow me when you get up at the first alarm, not even come and follow me when your kids are a little older. It is come and follow me. God doesn't want my instagram worthy Bible study set up, He wants my heart. My quiet time is still clunky especially now learning how to do it as a new mom.

I've chatted about how we all have a ministry, it is whatever God has placed before us. So your work, your home, your family, your church, your school, that is all ministry. So if that is the case, ministry doesn't get put on pause just because my season of life changed. Instead the focus of my ministry has changed. I am focusing on ministering to my daughter showing her Christ's love that is now my priority, but to do that well I need that quiet time with Jesus. It just doesn't always look like an open Bible and a journal.

Instead God is teaching me in the most tangible way ever how to make showing up in all areas of my life worship. Sometimes that is singing hymns or praying while caring for my daughter. Sometimes that is thanking God for all His blessings over our family as I tidy our home. It's also being creative to how many ways I can point my day back to Jesus. Some ways I have been doing that is having the verse of the day be the first thing I check on my phone and read it aloud while I nurse. Or playing worship music while we work through a fussy moment. It might also be speaking truth over my daughter while I change her or get her dressed. It's choosing to open up my Bible and journal during that first nap instead of trying to squeeze in more work or watching a show. It's also realizing that even if she wakes up in the first five minutes of me sitting down I can hold her while I finish reading the scripture.

Young motherhood may not be the season you are in right now. It wasn't always mine. What I would like to encourage you with is to not get caught up in the January Junk Drawer hype. Come back gently with whatever habit you want to incorporate for yourself. Get creative with how you can make it a priority in your season of life. How can you ask for support in this goal? We aren't created to do this life alone. Find people to hold you accountable or ask your spouse to help carve out time so you can get that alone time with God in. Don't get caught up on the "have tos" or "shoulds." Remember that God isn't asking you to come when you are ready He's asking you to come and follow Him. Which means we are in the position of surrender, not having all the answers.

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